I really can't say anything beyond this...
It absolutely amazes me that some people have survived to live this long driving the way they do. I mean, if NOT for the driving itself...just for being as stupid as I am convinced Houston drivers are. Talk about short bus.
Showing posts with label Nobody cares about this besides me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nobody cares about this besides me. Show all posts
May 3, 2009
April 29, 2009
Urkel and the Pursuit of Rubik
So, I came into work a couple of weeks ago and we had a new guy at the front desk. He seems like a really great guy, well-mannered, well-dressed, and always friendly. He just had a new baby girl too, so he is putting on a good front...I know from experience the boy is wore out! Anyway, there's just something about him that is absolutely STRANGE. First of all, he carries a backpack with him and THIS is always in a side pocket of it:
No big deal, you say? I think it's just weird. Have these things made a comeback at some point since they were all the rage back in the early 80's? And, I've seen him working it on his breaks too...who the hell takes a break to try and solve a Rubik's Cube? Maybe he just saw "Pursuit of Happyness" and thought it'd be cool to make a good impression on the bosses or something. They aren't watching though, so he could totally peel the stickers off or break it apart and put them all back together in the proper place and no one would ever figure out that he cheated! Moron...
Another thing is he is the most non-ethnic black guy I've met since Artimus, back in the day...the "day" being the Army. Art spent his Friday and Saturday nights at a Techno club dancing with about as much rhythm as Vince Vaughn on acid. I'm assuming that would be quite hilarious to watch, actually...and so was Art when he was dancing. Last time I heard from him, he was in Japan teaching English to 8th-9th grade Japanese girls. I digress a lot, don't I?
Anyway, I can totally imagine this dude hanging out with Art and both of them talking in a perfect "white" voice like you hear just about ANY decent black comedian imitate. "Hey there, guy! How are you this fine evening?" That sort of thing...nothing wrong with it, it's just different and well, STRANGE. When I stop by to introduce myself to someone and/or meet them, I'm not expecting to hear from Steve Urkel. That's with ANYONE but especially not from a black guy...that's what made Urkel's character so damn funny in the first place.
This guy's also one of those that seems overly nosey. He'll walk by my office while I'm eating lunch, stop to stick his head in, and ask me what I'm eating. I'm eating raw monkey brains, man...what do you care? Or, he stopped me as I came in one morning because he wanted to know what book I was carrying and what it was about. I guess you could say he's just being nice or friendly or some shit...but what's this world coming to when co-workers want to be nice to you?!
April 24, 2009
Español
You know...I've got some Spanish-speaking friends who actually have had to TAKE Spanish courses for credit in college. Some speak quite fluently but almost all of them need to hone up on their skills in the reading and writing department...seems those little, fucking accents and silent letters annoy the shit out of more people than just mi. However, I DO think it is a bit unfair. I mean, to get a History degree, or any OTHER degree in the liberal arts it seems, you have to have two sophomore-level language courses. ¡Lechón del polla!
Well, why the hell don't they offer me English? Sure, there are English courses...an entire college department with the title ENGLISH right across the damn buildings and their own link on the school website. But, seems like there are no plain old "English" courses available beyond say, the 9th grade of high school. Most people I know, myself at the forefront of this group, don't even know how to diagram a sentence in my own fucking language, much less do so in someone ELSE'S language. So, why not offer English to those of us who need it/want it/or would just really like a somewhat easy pass (A's) through the requirement.
My friends tell me, "Oh, it's hard for US to take the Spanish course too!" I call bullshit. Come on, you can speak it and when you read it in a book, you at least know what 75% of the vocabulary is already. So what if part of what you're slinging everyday is Mexican slang and not proper Spanish? It's already 75% or more of a head start than all of the rest of us have...not even counting the fact while we're all learning vocabulary, grammar, etc...all YOU have to focus on is the grammar and such because you've pretty much got the vocabulary down. Plus, you're immersed in your community of heritage speakers too...so you get constant practice!
Throw MY ass into an English class with a bunch of students who...other than the random curse word, how to order a beer, ask where the bathroom is, or comment on how pickled cabbage my ugly chimpanzee is...don't speak a lick of the language and I guarantee you I'd never deny having an advantage and I'd eat that shit UP. I'd be slingin' words like nobody's business and have the rest of the class at my feet in awe! "Oh, sweetie...you look really good down there on your knees, but it really isn't necessary!" *throw in a few Pope/Miss America waves at the crowd here* But NOOOOO, that is not accepted, nor even offered. And, why in the hell do I need to learn a foreign language anyway? I'm of the belief that if you make your permanent residence in America, you should speak English, bitches! And it's not like I'm going to Spain or Mexico after I graduate to teach History THERE. Lord knows, those kids wouldn't understand half of what I was saying to them, except maybe...
"The Spanish Armada enforced many bananas upon the Eastern world for wearing leotards and eating poon on Saturday." Even then, it wouldn't sound nearly as glamorous as I make it out to sound here and would only be partially true (everybody knows men west of Samoa and east of say, Germany, don't eat poon). Hasta luego, puta madre!
Well, why the hell don't they offer me English? Sure, there are English courses...an entire college department with the title ENGLISH right across the damn buildings and their own link on the school website. But, seems like there are no plain old "English" courses available beyond say, the 9th grade of high school. Most people I know, myself at the forefront of this group, don't even know how to diagram a sentence in my own fucking language, much less do so in someone ELSE'S language. So, why not offer English to those of us who need it/want it/or would just really like a somewhat easy pass (A's) through the requirement.
My friends tell me, "Oh, it's hard for US to take the Spanish course too!" I call bullshit. Come on, you can speak it and when you read it in a book, you at least know what 75% of the vocabulary is already. So what if part of what you're slinging everyday is Mexican slang and not proper Spanish? It's already 75% or more of a head start than all of the rest of us have...not even counting the fact while we're all learning vocabulary, grammar, etc...all YOU have to focus on is the grammar and such because you've pretty much got the vocabulary down. Plus, you're immersed in your community of heritage speakers too...so you get constant practice!
Throw MY ass into an English class with a bunch of students who...other than the random curse word, how to order a beer, ask where the bathroom is, or comment on how pickled cabbage my ugly chimpanzee is...don't speak a lick of the language and I guarantee you I'd never deny having an advantage and I'd eat that shit UP. I'd be slingin' words like nobody's business and have the rest of the class at my feet in awe! "Oh, sweetie...you look really good down there on your knees, but it really isn't necessary!" *throw in a few Pope/Miss America waves at the crowd here* But NOOOOO, that is not accepted, nor even offered. And, why in the hell do I need to learn a foreign language anyway? I'm of the belief that if you make your permanent residence in America, you should speak English, bitches! And it's not like I'm going to Spain or Mexico after I graduate to teach History THERE. Lord knows, those kids wouldn't understand half of what I was saying to them, except maybe...
"The Spanish Armada enforced many bananas upon the Eastern world for wearing leotards and eating poon on Saturday." Even then, it wouldn't sound nearly as glamorous as I make it out to sound here and would only be partially true (everybody knows men west of Samoa and east of say, Germany, don't eat poon). Hasta luego, puta madre!
April 22, 2009
Dorkiness: Chapter 2
OK, so I'm writing this in (somewhat) pink simply because this part of my dorkiness has sometimes been confused with gayness. I personally think stereotyping of ANY kind is wrong, and that includes thinking that only gay men appreciate fashion and/or cinema and/or cooking and/or appreciating that Vin Diesel is just a good-looking specimen and/or that Keifer Sutherland is a bad-ass. LOL I also include the words "bitches," "loquacious," and "fabulous" into my normal vocabulary and still, somehow, maintain my heterosexuality. It's amazing!
Anyway, I'm super excited about the fact that Project Runway will finally be aired on Lifetime! After much battling and bickering among networks, and probably lots of metaphorical bitch-slapping behind closed doors, it will premiere on August 20. Yay! Of course, my mind immediately wonders...WTF?! Why do we have to wait so long for it? Bravo never cared when they started a show. They'll run show after show, each premiering right after the other, and it doesn't matter that it's the standard new "season" period or not. Oh well...at least Bravo's going to run their version of it (The Fashion Show) before then and that ought to tide me over quite nicely.
I am also crazy about Top Chef, Millionaire Matchmaker, Flipping Out, LA Ink and just about any other Bravo show you can name. Oh, and anything with Gordon Ramsay in it and/or on BBC America. Yes, my DVR stays full and no, I don't think I ever get caught up completely. Maybe that will change once I finish my degree in December...but I doubt it.
Anyway, I'm super excited about the fact that Project Runway will finally be aired on Lifetime! After much battling and bickering among networks, and probably lots of metaphorical bitch-slapping behind closed doors, it will premiere on August 20. Yay! Of course, my mind immediately wonders...WTF?! Why do we have to wait so long for it? Bravo never cared when they started a show. They'll run show after show, each premiering right after the other, and it doesn't matter that it's the standard new "season" period or not. Oh well...at least Bravo's going to run their version of it (The Fashion Show) before then and that ought to tide me over quite nicely.
I am also crazy about Top Chef, Millionaire Matchmaker, Flipping Out, LA Ink and just about any other Bravo show you can name. Oh, and anything with Gordon Ramsay in it and/or on BBC America. Yes, my DVR stays full and no, I don't think I ever get caught up completely. Maybe that will change once I finish my degree in December...but I doubt it.
April 20, 2009
Relativity
OK, so a little while back I posted a blog about the Steady State and Big Bang theories...and how they related to each other, whatever. My wife's brother sent me this link the other day that doesn't really fit into that but it IS about the Universe, and its size, something I'm a total dork about...obviously. I don't even think he reads my blog, he just recognizes my dorkiness and feeds it from time to time. For this, I thank you Matthew!
Anyway, I've tried explaining this to people...Virginia being one...and for many people, it's very hard to wrap our mind around the true scope of the universe. The magnitude is just almost unreal, truly. I admit it gives even a dork like me a headache to think about at times. LOL Of course, that's probably just when I try to think too hard/much. It's also why it always amazes me that people honestly think we are the only intelligent life out there...or those, such as the 18 or 19 or 20 (however many she's spit out at the time of this writing) kids and counting idiots who still believe the world is only 6,000 years old simply because they think "the Bible says so!"
http://digg.com/d1ofQT
Click on the link to feel really, REALLY small in this world.
Anyway, I've tried explaining this to people...Virginia being one...and for many people, it's very hard to wrap our mind around the true scope of the universe. The magnitude is just almost unreal, truly. I admit it gives even a dork like me a headache to think about at times. LOL Of course, that's probably just when I try to think too hard/much. It's also why it always amazes me that people honestly think we are the only intelligent life out there...or those, such as the 18 or 19 or 20 (however many she's spit out at the time of this writing) kids and counting idiots who still believe the world is only 6,000 years old simply because they think "the Bible says so!"
http://digg.com/d1ofQT
Click on the link to feel really, REALLY small in this world.
February 20, 2009
Headed to Arkansas
We've been kicking around the thought of driving up to Arkansas, so I can visit some family, for quite some time now and now we're finally going to just do it! My mom hasn't met J yet and only saw E one time, when he was only about 4 months old...hell, my Granny has yet to meet EITHER of them and neither have my brothers.
**Speaking of brothers, I just hope they're not all doped-up and running the roads the whole time we're there. I'd like to actually see them this time. They're adults and yes, they control what they do and how they live their lives...doesn't mean I don't still worry about them OR that I have to agree with it. I certainly cannot cast stones, though...as I did plenty of my own partying in the past. I just hope, like me, it's a phase they get through safely.
I digress...so, we've made the reservations for the hotel and car rental (renting so we don't use wear and tear on our OWN cars). We'll be driving up on March 12th, after I get out of class, and driving through the night. We are hopeful that this allows the boys to basically sleep the whole trip away, which will make our lives MUCH easier. We'll drive back on Sunday afternoon or so. Basically, just a couple of days...but honestly, other than my brothers, mom, Granny, and my dads (the father and the dad who raised me)...I don't really care who I see, so it should be plenty of time. I will see a few old friends, yes, so that will be good too. My point is, all I need of Arkansas can be handled in a couple/few days. Anymore than that, and I get VERY bored with it and yearn for my city-life back. Besides, it seems everyone up there seems to be meth-ed out and I don't like being around it. I CERTAINLY don't want to expose my children to that mess before their due time. Seriously though, when you can walk into a Wal-Mart at 3:30am and it's half-packed with bug-eyed people, wearing cut-off shorts and muscle-T's and still sweating when it's 35 degrees outside...you've got a problem. Just the fact Wally World is PACKED at that hour is a problem, never mind the distinct aroma of drugs sweating out.
I've already taken that Friday and the following Monday off work...Monday will be a recovery day, if there IS such a thing. Hard to say with two under the age of 2, but we do alright. My Virginia is amazing, with what she deals with and handles on a daily basis. I'm actually GLAD I get to come to work everyday for a few hours. Anyway, I guess that's it for now. More sooner than this post took, I promise...
**Speaking of brothers, I just hope they're not all doped-up and running the roads the whole time we're there. I'd like to actually see them this time. They're adults and yes, they control what they do and how they live their lives...doesn't mean I don't still worry about them OR that I have to agree with it. I certainly cannot cast stones, though...as I did plenty of my own partying in the past. I just hope, like me, it's a phase they get through safely.
I digress...so, we've made the reservations for the hotel and car rental (renting so we don't use wear and tear on our OWN cars). We'll be driving up on March 12th, after I get out of class, and driving through the night. We are hopeful that this allows the boys to basically sleep the whole trip away, which will make our lives MUCH easier. We'll drive back on Sunday afternoon or so. Basically, just a couple of days...but honestly, other than my brothers, mom, Granny, and my dads (the father and the dad who raised me)...I don't really care who I see, so it should be plenty of time. I will see a few old friends, yes, so that will be good too. My point is, all I need of Arkansas can be handled in a couple/few days. Anymore than that, and I get VERY bored with it and yearn for my city-life back. Besides, it seems everyone up there seems to be meth-ed out and I don't like being around it. I CERTAINLY don't want to expose my children to that mess before their due time. Seriously though, when you can walk into a Wal-Mart at 3:30am and it's half-packed with bug-eyed people, wearing cut-off shorts and muscle-T's and still sweating when it's 35 degrees outside...you've got a problem. Just the fact Wally World is PACKED at that hour is a problem, never mind the distinct aroma of drugs sweating out.
I've already taken that Friday and the following Monday off work...Monday will be a recovery day, if there IS such a thing. Hard to say with two under the age of 2, but we do alright. My Virginia is amazing, with what she deals with and handles on a daily basis. I'm actually GLAD I get to come to work everyday for a few hours. Anyway, I guess that's it for now. More sooner than this post took, I promise...
January 15, 2009
Randy
Now...I wrote this back on February 20, 2008 and posted it awhile back on MySpace but thought I'd re-post it here, after reading it today. Just kinda made me sad all over again, I guess.
Well…my Mom just called to let me know Randy Railey passed away today. Randy was one of my Mom’s oldest, and dearest, friends having been married to my Mom’s OLDEST friend, Marsha, for God knows how long. I can remember being like 7 or 8 and going to visit them, if that gives you any indication. Today was his 56th birthday too. His kidneys had shut down and he was jaundiced really bad too…they initially were going to take him off of life support tomorrow, but his daughters decided to do it today as their last gift to him. He would have wanted and appreciated that because he was always a very no-nonsense kind of guy. He pretty much attacked life head on and would have wanted to attack life-after the same way. He told you how it was, or at least how HE saw it, even if it wasn’t what you wanted to hear…at least you would always get the truth and what you needed to hear. I was surprised by how sad it made me to hear about it…I knew their plans and knew it would happen today, but it still struck me deeper than I had imagined or prepared for.
Randy was always very good to me. When I was young, he never treated me like a “kid” so much as others did…he talked to me straight up and in the eye, which has always earned my respect from others. When I enlisted in the US Army, I don’t think anyone was any more proud of me than he was, save for my Mom and my Granny. He taught me a lot in the time between signing into the DEP and actually shipping off to boot camp. He had gone to military schools growing up and knew the inner workings of such things. He taught me how to keep moving forward full-force but never standing out too much…in basic that can get your head cleared in a hurry. LOL He taught me that if I truly wanted the most out of the military, volunteer for everything (such as schools) I could, that’s pretty much what I did, and yes…I got the most out of it. He taught me how to break down an M16 and a 9mm before I ever got to Ft. Jackson or Ft. Bragg for training. He also taught me how to march properly, stand at attention, parade rest, turn, and about-face long before ever having to actually do it for a DS. It was immensely helpful to me and I always loved him for it because he obviously cared enough for me to devote so much of his own time to help me.
Randy loved his beer and hell…he’d smoke a little grass every so often too…but that doesn’t change or affect the person he was. I wish I could have told him thank you just one last time. It would have meant something to me to know he really did understand it. So, I am left with saying it here…thank you, Randy. You will be missed.
Well…my Mom just called to let me know Randy Railey passed away today. Randy was one of my Mom’s oldest, and dearest, friends having been married to my Mom’s OLDEST friend, Marsha, for God knows how long. I can remember being like 7 or 8 and going to visit them, if that gives you any indication. Today was his 56th birthday too. His kidneys had shut down and he was jaundiced really bad too…they initially were going to take him off of life support tomorrow, but his daughters decided to do it today as their last gift to him. He would have wanted and appreciated that because he was always a very no-nonsense kind of guy. He pretty much attacked life head on and would have wanted to attack life-after the same way. He told you how it was, or at least how HE saw it, even if it wasn’t what you wanted to hear…at least you would always get the truth and what you needed to hear. I was surprised by how sad it made me to hear about it…I knew their plans and knew it would happen today, but it still struck me deeper than I had imagined or prepared for.
Randy was always very good to me. When I was young, he never treated me like a “kid” so much as others did…he talked to me straight up and in the eye, which has always earned my respect from others. When I enlisted in the US Army, I don’t think anyone was any more proud of me than he was, save for my Mom and my Granny. He taught me a lot in the time between signing into the DEP and actually shipping off to boot camp. He had gone to military schools growing up and knew the inner workings of such things. He taught me how to keep moving forward full-force but never standing out too much…in basic that can get your head cleared in a hurry. LOL He taught me that if I truly wanted the most out of the military, volunteer for everything (such as schools) I could, that’s pretty much what I did, and yes…I got the most out of it. He taught me how to break down an M16 and a 9mm before I ever got to Ft. Jackson or Ft. Bragg for training. He also taught me how to march properly, stand at attention, parade rest, turn, and about-face long before ever having to actually do it for a DS. It was immensely helpful to me and I always loved him for it because he obviously cared enough for me to devote so much of his own time to help me.
Randy loved his beer and hell…he’d smoke a little grass every so often too…but that doesn’t change or affect the person he was. I wish I could have told him thank you just one last time. It would have meant something to me to know he really did understand it. So, I am left with saying it here…thank you, Randy. You will be missed.
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